I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish my penis had a tongue
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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