Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
