Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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