Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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