I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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