His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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