There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
one might say we're banned from that church
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
