I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
