she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
