the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
420 ftw
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
