I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
