im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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