your parents love me but you hate me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
