I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
