You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
