Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
