i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
