Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
