Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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