We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
