I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
