Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
