I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
