therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
