i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
