i just google imaged poop.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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