Umm I'm too high to move.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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