It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
3 2 1 whiskey
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
