How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
