i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The best revenge is premature balding
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
