but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Everclear isn't food dammit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
