come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
