Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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