they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
