ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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