How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
