He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
