Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
