Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
