I am puke
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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