whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
