Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So squirting runs in the family.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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