remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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