It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
