You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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