Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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