I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
