hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
