1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
