So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and she was petting her beer can
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
