so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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