Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
